What do we do when it feels as if we have nothing to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? When instead of rest and gratitude, we are stricken with a deep-rooted unease? When we see our friends’ perfectly curated Thanksgiving posts with high quality family photos, matching outfits, and a dinner table so well put-together that it would be a shame to disrupt it, how do we not fall into the trap of comparison? 

By no means are these questions exclusive to celebrating Thanksgiving, but undoubtedly, they rise to the forefront of our minds on this occasion. 

If I could offer a simple remedy, I would. I would tell you to journal, get off social media, and spend time in the moment – alas, these are only band-aid solutions. Though I am a firm believer in the merits of these things, they can never fix the internal tumult that saturates our hearts. Much like taking ibuprofen for a broken bone, the pain may be numbed for a moment, but only rest and healing will take away the pain permanently. We must similarly heal our hearts, and seek to rid ourselves of the plague that is comparison. 

To clarify, comparison is a natural human impulse, and we likely have very real reasons to be inclined towards this habit, especially while watching those around us partake in what seems like a picture-perfect family meal at Thanksgiving.  

I think it’s safe to assume that you, dear reader, resonate with this at least to some extent. Perhaps your family is falling apart and has not spent a holiday together in years, and you wish you could return to the stability of childhood. Maybe this past year has been full of heartache and suffering and you’re simply going through life on autopilot, unable to stop and notice anything to be grateful for. Perhaps you even feel as if the Lord has abandoned you in this season, and you long to feel His faithfulness in a way that you once did. All of these are valid points of longing for something better, especially around the holidays. I similarly spend much time in the trenches of this struggle. However, the Lord’s care is greater than this suffering, despite how lowly we feel. 

I came across a passage by Pastor John Snyder of Christ Church in Mississippi, which reads, “For the Christian, every attribute of God is something that is true about your God, Redeemer, Captain, Defender, Brother, and Friend. Seeing that to be true, you ought to feel a deep gratitude.” Friend, how comforting is this truth! 

So, how do we translate this to shifting away from the temptations of comparison? We are likely unable to cease comparison entirely. Therefore, perhaps instead of comparing our earthly things to others’ earthly things or circumstances, we must compare our earthly things to the glorious attributes of God and promises of Heaven. I suggest we consult my favorite hymn, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, and its assertion that if we look to Christ, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace,” and that “there’s light for a look at the Savior, and life more abundant and free.” This implies comparison, but oddly enough, encourages it in a healthy way! When we are discontent, let us instead bask in thanksgiving that God is Redeemer, Captain, Defender, Brother, and Friend. What earthly thing is worth as much attention as His glory and the peace that is offered through His character? Further, as we “look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,” let us boldly, yet humbly, compare our earthly lives to the hope found in Jesus – oh, how temporal pleasures, or the lack thereof, waste away in light of this truth (Hebrews 12:2 ESV)! 

As we may face the weight of comparison this holiday season, what comfort can we take in the everlasting arms of the Lord! When we believe we have nothing else to be grateful for and our hearts are so weary that we cannot praise, let us refrain from unhealthily desiring the blessings those around us may have. Let us lie in silence, metaphorically (or even physically, staring at the ceiling if need be) and receive the comfort of the Lord and His character amidst our earnestly felt suffering. As Paul writes, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us,” we are reminded that all of the earthly things we may envy pale in comparison to the joy that will be felt when the Lord makes all things right (Romans 8:18 ESV). Let us seek to no longer compare our earthly affairs to others, but rather, allow ourselves to view them in the light of salvation and right-relationship with God, to whom we owe all thanks, praise, and glory.